On Feburary 4, 2008 at 7:10PM, my mother, Ocie Marie Polk-Bennett died. Since then, life has gone on but the void and memories have not faded into history. There have been many changes in each of her children’s lives. Her youngest daughter, Brenda became a woman. Her oldest daughter, Shaloam, has learned to continue to try to live a better life even with her illness and even gave birth to another child. Her second oldest son, Micah has battled diabetes and infections, yet, still continues to live a good life even with his health not doing well. As for me, her eldest son, I have learned and grown so much since that day. I have made new friends, worked with new and exciting creative people, lost a couple friends along the way and learned to challenge myself to be better than I was the day before. Of all the changes, one last task has not been completed - a headstone.
My mother did not leave a will, insurance, money or wishes when she died. There were a lot, and I mean a lot if mistakes, fights, arguments, concessions and life lessons learned when we buried her. One life lesson is that when you have on plans for your body when you die, only the barest of minimums will be provided and none of them are free. When asking for a loan to cover Ocie’s funeral costs, I did not ask about the headstone. I thought, it was included. No. It is not. It is a separate expense. One that takes time to create and leaves the only visual marker of where the final resting place of my mother remains.
During the last four years, I have made more financial mistakes, missteps, flat out bad choices than I can count. All the while saying, this will be the year I get that headstone. I will take of it next month. Now, here were all are(her siblings), no where financially closer to getting that marker.
As you are reading this, I am shifting my money and responsibilities to address this final payment of respect and honor for my mother. I am looking for new work and new projects and simple tasks to help earn the money to buy the headstone. My friend and co-worker, Jon Gamble and his wife Mary, donated 200.00 to that task when I first started working with The Image Shoppe in March of 2008. Since then, that savings has come and gone due to my own issues with money. For Jon & Mary, I thank you and I apologize. I should have done better - I did not.
My promise to you, my friends, my co-workers, my siblings, my relatives and friends of my mother, Ocie Marie Polk-Bennett, I will take care the task of placing her headstone at her gravesite. This year. To me, nothing is more important now on the anniversary of her death.
I promise this as her son, Frederick Polk.